Bullying for me, essentially means the practice of reducing one person's life to a living hell so that another's can be less hell-like.
This might sound melodramatic, but I can guarantee you that there are men, women and children out there whose lives are hell because of the phenomenon of bullying. And it's important to recognise that it is not an event, it is a process.
Bullying rarely starts at a sophisticated level. If anything, bullying is educationally developed. It takes time to learn the skill of bullying, and the skill is developed earlier if one has a mentor in the shape of a bullying parent, brother or just plain bully. The Bully who bullies is actually educating his victim in the power of bullying.
It is also a spectrum ranging from teasing to torture. Torture is merely a variation on a theme; Give me that or I'll Trouwjurken nl do this. It is seeded from the same source as needless power seeking and needless wealth accumulation.
Bullying is not confined to Trouwjurk Lange Mouw playgrounds and workplaces. It can sit in the heart of government, justice, media and religion. 'Do this or you will go to the bad fire' is merely a bully-spouted phrase. And it is likely the spouter had this spouted at them.
It is ironic that when we deal with bullies, we often tell them that if they bully again they will get punished; a variation on 'Do this or you will go to the bad fire'. It is not easy to deal with bullying. It is not Sexy Trouwjurken I suggest so much a crime, as a social tactic; an insane method of easing suffering by causing suffering.
This is why education rather criminalisation is a better approach in schools. If we can teach our children about the process and tactical rooting of bullying, we are likely to imbue them with the insight that bullying comes from suffering and leads to suffering. It is never, ever an expression of love or security.
Neither is it a way of being tough or firm on bullies or criminals. Bullying is not tough, it is callous creating. It does not divert bullies away from their paths, it merely teaches them that bullying is an effective tactic. It might not be something they should continue with, but governments, justice, media and religion just might be better with this 'Give me that or I'll do this' approach.
When Lady Gaga e-mailed a fan to praise his anti-bullying campaign, she shone a light on something that is far more dangerous than children making each other's lives hell. She spotlighted a spectrum in which the bully and the torturer are separated by educational development, rather than clear distance.
Imagine if we though of our bullies as teachers of torture as a method of getting ahead in life. Sound stupid? Then how come many who were bullied in child-hood go on to be treated for Traumatic Stress Disorder - just like many who were tortured or are tortured, psychologically if not physically, by some governments, justice, media and religion; and perhaps; Schools failing to address the practice of reducing one person's life to a living hell so that another's can be less hell-like.
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